I’ve been having a very hard time getting through this particular 10 pounds. Losing forty pounds to get to this weight was not a picnic, but I worked towards it and it happened. However, starting in late October and until just a week ago, I’ve been gaining and losing the same 8 or so pounds. I switched to Simply Filling last week and finally busted through it, though only by a couple of pounds so far so I’m not ready to declare victory.
I think my body is seriously clinging to this particular weight. Every time I make a little progress, I do something to sabotage myself. I don’t want to sabotage myself, but for some reason I get strong cravings whenever I get at or below this weight range. I find myself gaining a couple of pounds, getting frustrated, losing a couple of pounds, and getting cravings, and the process starts again. I thought I was just hitting a wall, but now I’ve realized that this is the weight that I was for a long time before I had my gain a few years ago. I think my body got comfortable at this weight and doesn’t want to go further.
When I finally realized that I might be sabotaging my own efforts subconsciously, I started to wonder if I really believe in my gut that I can succeed. I’ve had a lot of hope over the past year having found Weight Watchers, having the support of my sisters, participating in this blog and podcasts, and so on. I really have everything I need to lose weight. But, I’ve really been struggling recently. All of this struggle is introducing doubt that only makes things more difficult.
I’ve also noticed that as I’ve lost weight, I’ve been able to see and accept myself at the new weight. In other words, it hasn’t been unbelievable to me that I was at a lower weight. But, the weight that I reached at my last weigh-in (where I got the lowest I’ve been in years by a few pounds) feels like it isn’t me. I have noticed that I’m having a hard time associating myself with that weight. It “feels” lower than I really am, even though that is not true.
I wonder if any one else has dealt with this. Do you “feel” that you should be a certain weight – not that you want to be that weight, but that your body seems to fight to stay at this weight? I need to figure out how to convince my subconscious that my weight is not too low, but too high.
This seems like an even more intense struggle than I’ve had so far, but until I can figure it out, I don’t know how I’m going to succeed further. I am trying to stick to Simply Filling as much as I can, which is something new for me, so maybe it will help. If anyone has any insight, please share.